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Doubletalk Vol. 2

By Patrick Courtney McGorrill

Today I feel it is my duty to address the issue. I haven't figured out what the issue is yet, so bear with me. Bears are brown. Bears are hairy. Fuzzy wuzzy wuz a Bear. Fuzzy wuzzy wuz a thorn in my side. 

Fuzzy wuzzy wuzn't fuzzy for long. This might seem cruel to you animal activists. Peanut butter is good on toast. If I don't feel like butter on my toast, I'll say "peanut butter today Josh." Josh is the name of the family table. The table is made of wood. I don't know what type of wood because my wood identifying skills are fuzzy. Like my sweater. I don't like fuzzy things. They tend to get stuck in my fingernails, if I don't wash them properly. The washing process is long and mucky. You'll find that the tubes build up filth, spit, and mucus. Submerge the tubes in water, and simply run water through them. While the tubes are submerged run your snake through them, rubbing vigorously against the walls of the tubes to remove all build up. Once done cleaning apply cream to the inner tube. This should be done with oven mitts. 

Oven mitts come in many different colors. Some are blue. Some are cerulean. Some are aqua. Some are robin's egg. They even come in the color of the sky. The sky is big and cerulean. It is also the home of chimeras. If you ever see a chimera run very fast. You won't escape them but running is good exercise. Everyone needs a good run now and again. Just like everyone needs peanut butter every once in a while. Recently in Scotland a man stood up only to find he was standing. This must have been very disappointing. I know when I stand up I like to find something